My hubby Steve and I celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary yesterday, and dear man that he is, he took the day off from work to spend time together and took me to lunch at the wonderful Prado restaurant in San Diego's beautiful
Balboa Park, and then we had a nice stroll through the park gardens and grounds. We had so many people ask us how we have stayed (happily) married for 31 years that we decided to share our thoughts on that topic.
So here goes!
We were just 21 and 23 years old when we married, and we were 18 and 19 when we met! We had fun then, and we still take time to enjoy life together as best friends and companions, and like when we were young, we often hold hands and just like being together as husband and wife. Sometimes we even stop and hug each other, no matter what we're doing, and say,
"I love you,"--not caring who might see us and think we're silly ol'
mid-life people!
We like to celebrate life at beautiful places with festive food and surroundings, both outside of our home, and within it. (Or as the old saying goes,
"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach!")
When life has dealt us
a menu of tough dishes to deal with, as it does for everyone now and then, we do our best to focus on the positive the best we can and move forward as soon as possible. (I didn't say that is always
easy, but we
both think it's the best approach.)
We consider ourselves unique and separate individuals (one left-brained analytical numbers kind of guy + one spirited creative writer sort of gal keeps life quite interesting!), and we
both encourage each other to grow. But in addition to being two distinctive individuals, we also consider ourselves "The Bechen Team," so when making decisions, we try and do what's ultimately the best for
the team.
When we disagree on colorful topics, (and we do sometimes), we use humor, try to stick to the matter at hand, and try to not hold grudges.
We
both make an effort to be thoughtful and do sweet things for each other, like calling each other to see how our day is going, or saying,
"I'm behind you 100% no matter what happens; go for it," or
"I love you and I'm still glad you're my mate." Or perhaps, (grin!),
"You left the toilet seat up my dear man, but I still love you!" or "You're talking to me with your schoolteacher finger again Kathryn, but I still think you're funny!" (Okay, so I admit that last part is a bit embellished, but you get the idea--
no mate is perfect! :)
We compromise. In marriage, we
both think you ultimately grow and bloom best as people if you do that.
We
both believe in God's grace and ask for his guidance for our life and marriage because we know we just don't have the wisdom for everything on our own.
We both still make time, in spite of hectic career schedules and deadlines, for hugs, kisses, and mystical marital union. :)
We both realize, and tell each other often, that we know we have been blessed to find someone special to share our life with in marriage for so many years, and we take no new day together for granted.
How have you stayed not just married, but still in love, for many years? We'd love to hear what's worked for you as a married couple.
